No Facebook in the morning is like having no pole for a stripper. Bad analogy, I know, but Facebook is my coffee with my coffee in the morning. And you know how it is, when a coffee person doesn't get their coffee in the morning. I turn into a behind the scenes Martha Stewart. The internet is my cigarette with my cigarette that I have with my coffee while drinking my coffee. There should be a comma somewhere in that last sentence, but Ihave no fucking clue where it belongs. It's because I didn't get to tweak on morning internet crack.
Back to my analogy, because I want to talk about strippers. There are no strip clubs on the island of Hawaii. Which may be a good thing. Because the island is so small, you'd probably run into a performer with a recognoticable face. If you look that high. But running into your cousins aunties nephews girlfriends neighbors daughter, might be uncomfortable. Then you'd have to worry about the dancer gossiping, eh guess who I saw Friday night. I saw my neighbors boyfriends aunties nephews cousin. With the looming questions ahead on how to explain your where abouts and why you when go look at dakines cousins aunties nephews girlfriends neighbors daughters goodies.
Moral of the story, Jesus Christ died on the cross so we could have internet. That is why I screamed, holy shit when the cable went out.
No comments:
Post a Comment